Re-reading my 鈥榣ockdown diary鈥� from five years ago brought a range of emotions. My dominant thought, however, was that while the world has moved on, we in AP are still seeing the impact that first lockdown had on our most vulnerable children. Revisiting the personal aspects of my reflections back then did make me smile at all the positive things that haven鈥檛 changed. I still get up early and work too much. Our is still going strong with many more members who benefit from collegiate work and support. And I鈥檓 still working with headteacher colleagues who took advantage of wellbeing coaching during lockdown. The vulnerability we shared in those challenging times has cemented relationships and reminds me of the famous Teddy Roosevelt quote: 鈥淚t is not the critic who counts. [鈥 The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, [鈥 who strives valiantly, who errs, who comes short again and again.鈥� For school leaders in AP, men and women, the arena was tough in 2020. It is still tough today. And that鈥檚 because it is toughest of all for our students. Sadly, our relationship with the local authority did not stand the test of time. As the political urgency to meet need waned, so did the impetus to collaborate. People moved on and priorities changed. But I鈥檓 still here, and perhaps the new government鈥檚 focus on collaboration will help us recapture some of that. Because all that鈥檚 really changed is the sense of urgency. I鈥檝e been leading in AP for twenty-four years, and I鈥檓 still repeating my mantra: during times of challenge, it is our children who suffer the most and the consequences persist for years, perhaps lifetimes. During Covid, this fell on listening ears, but AP today is full to the brim with children who missed out significantly during that period 鈥� and there have been other crises since. All that鈥檚 really changed is our sense of urgency We see it in behavioural issues, poor mental health, social issues and a lack of motivation. Year 7 students struggle with transition to secondary school. They arrive in AP with significant gaps in learning and a real reluctance to attend school. Vulnerabilities were brought to light during the lockdowns, but they haven鈥檛 gone away and many young people haven鈥檛 quite recovered. On a more positive note, Aspire鈥檚 relationship with The Rothschild Foundation bonded during lockdown and has only strengthened over time. We shared a common purpose of enhancing the lives of children by providing for vulnerable families in any way we could. Today, they continue to support us to enrich the lives of our young people, providing funding for opportunities others take for granted. We are incredibly fortunate that our values align and both organisations are committed to ensuring our young people have opportunities to flourish and thrive, not just survive. This relationship has moved from the transactional to the relational; they are in the arena with us, supporting us to support children. I still remind myself, as I did in lockdown, of the love we see daily in the small things. It can be hard to love in AP, with turbulence and outward signs of trauma, but staff remind themselves that we change lives with and through love. During lockdown, we all prioritised what it is to be human and built many high-quality, meaningful relationships that protected so many children, families and communities. The collective spirit that arose from that crisis gave us the courage to hope. But hope requires action. Five years ago, we all did everything we could. In the face of today鈥檚 challenges 鈥� some old and some new, some still linked to Covid and many that seem perpetual 鈥� we should remember that to be human is messy and vulnerable, and we should make the deliberate choice to love more. The love language of that time was 鈥渨e鈥檒l figure this out together鈥�. We need more of that now. Roosevelt鈥檚 quote continues: 鈥淚f he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat”. This woman dares. Will Bridget Phillipson? In 2020, Schools Week chronicled school closures through a series of ‘lockdown diaries‘. Over the coming weeks, our diarists will be reflecting on their entries and the pandemic’s ongoing impact.